Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case

1. Have an Clear Written Fee Agreement

Most experienced and effective divorce attorneys charge by the hour and require an advance retainer (or deposit) that is paid at the beginning of the case. Fees and expenses will be charged against the retainer until it is exhausted, at which point the client will be responsible for any additional sums incurred.

Clients will sometimes seek an attorney who will represent them on a flat fee basis, thinking that this will save them money. The problem with this arrangement is that the attorney has no incentive to do anything beyond the bare minimum. The client often feels like his case is being ignored, the attorney often feels like the client is intentionally trying to take up as much of his time as possible, and they may both be right.

Whether you hire a lawyer on an hourly or flat fee basis, it is extremely important that you get a written fee agreement that makes clear the terms of the representation, including whether any retainer is refundable, how often you will receive statements, the attorney's hourly rates, etc. You should get and keep a copy of this fee agreement.

2. Don't Mistake Your Divorce Lawyer for Your Therapist

Divorces are extremely emotional. Because your divorce attorney is (or at least should be) firmly in your corner, talking to him can be a very reassuring experience. This person understands your side of the situation and it feels good to talk to someone who sees the righteousness of your position. Because it makes you feel better you get into the habit of calling often, almost daily.

Unless you have more money than you know what to do with you should avoid falling into this trap.

Remember that every time you call your lawyer the clock is ticking and you are getting billed by the hour. Think of it as a very expensive cab ride. As soon as you get in the cab, the meter starts running. It works the same with a lawyer, as soon as you are on the phone with him the meter is running and you are getting charged.

This does not mean you should never communicate with your lawyer. On the contrary, you should communicate with your attorney anytime you need legal advice on your case. But before you pick up the phone make a list of questions or issues you want to discuss and limit your conversation to these points without wasting time ranting about the unfairness of the situation.

3. Don't Use Your Attorney to Negotiate a Division of Personal Items

Arguing about which party deserves the blue sofa or the bread maker is not a good use of attorney's fees. As much as possible, you should try to resolve these issues with your spouse. Ideally, if you and your spouse have already separated, you could divide these items by agreement and exchange them before the case has been completed.

Then, when it is time to finalize the divorce the term in the agreement and/or Final Decree, the document would simply state that each party keeps all personal effects (furniture, clothing, electronics, appliances, kitchen equipment, etc.) in that party's possession. This can save a great deal in fees by avoiding debates over property that has very little market value.

4. Don't Throw Away Dollars Trying to Save Nickels

This is extremely important. People will often be extremely frugal about hiring an attorney and think they are saving a lot of money by hiring a lawyer for a small flat fee, or hiring someone who is not very experienced but will work cheaply.

This is a mistake.

Your goal should be to reach a reasonable settlement as quickly as possible. In order to reach this goal you will need an effective lawyer who sincerely shares that objective with you. That lawyer will then use his experience and skills to help you reach that objective.

But notice that I said "reasonable" settlement, not just any settlement. If the other side cannot be convinced to settle the case on reasonable terms it is imperative that your lawyer be skillful and confident enough to effectively try your case.

Someone who is learning on the job, or is simply unprepared, can cost you a great deal of money. So don't cheat yourself out of dollars in an attempt to save nickels

About the Author
Scott Morgan is a practicing Texas divorce attorney. For more information on <a target="_new" href="http://www.texas-divorce-info.com">texas divorce</a> visit his website at <a target="_new" href="http://www.texas-divorce-info.com">http://www.texas-divorce-info.com</a>. The website provides general information and resources on divorce, as well as specific information on Texas divorce law.

Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case

1. Have an Clear Written Fee Agreement

Most experienced and effective divorce attorneys charge by the hour and require an advance retainer (or deposit) that is paid at the beginning of the case. Fees and expenses will be charged against the retainer until it is exhausted, at which point the client will be responsible for any additional sums incurred.

Clients will sometimes seek an attorney who will represent them on a flat fee basis, thinking that this will save them money. The problem with this arrangement is that the attorney has no incentive to do anything beyond the bare minimum. The client often feels like his case is being ignored, the attorney often feels like the client is intentionally trying to take up as much of his time as possible, and they may both be right.

Whether you hire a lawyer on an hourly or flat fee basis, it is extremely important that you get a written fee agreement that makes clear the terms of the representation, including whether any retainer is refundable, how often you will receive statements, the attorney's hourly rates, etc. You should get and keep a copy of this fee agreement.

2. Don't Mistake Your Divorce Lawyer for Your Therapist

Divorces are extremely emotional. Because your divorce attorney is (or at least should be) firmly in your corner, talking to him can be a very reassuring experience. This person understands your side of the situation and it feels good to talk to someone who sees the righteousness of your position. Because it makes you feel better you get into the habit of calling often, almost daily.

Unless you have more money than you know what to do with you should avoid falling into this trap.

Remember that every time you call your lawyer the clock is ticking and you are getting billed by the hour. Think of it as a very expensive cab ride. As soon as you get in the cab, the meter starts running. It works the same with a lawyer, as soon as you are on the phone with him the meter is running and you are getting charged.

This does not mean you should never communicate with your lawyer. On the contrary, you should communicate with your attorney anytime you need legal advice on your case. But before you pick up the phone make a list of questions or issues you want to discuss and limit your conversation to these points without wasting time ranting about the unfairness of the situation.

3. Don't Use Your Attorney to Negotiate a Division of Personal Items

Arguing about which party deserves the blue sofa or the bread maker is not a good use of attorney's fees. As much as possible, you should try to resolve these issues with your spouse. Ideally, if you and your spouse have already separated, you could divide these items by agreement and exchange them before the case has been completed.

Then, when it is time to finalize the divorce the term in the agreement and/or Final Decree, the document would simply state that each party keeps all personal effects (furniture, clothing, electronics, appliances, kitchen equipment, etc.) in that party's possession. This can save a great deal in fees by avoiding debates over property that has very little market value.

4. Don't Throw Away Dollars Trying to Save Nickels

This is extremely important. People will often be extremely frugal about hiring an attorney and think they are saving a lot of money by hiring a lawyer for a small flat fee, or hiring someone who is not very experienced but will work cheaply.

This is a mistake.

Your goal should be to reach a reasonable settlement as quickly as possible. In order to reach this goal you will need an effective lawyer who sincerely shares that objective with you. That lawyer will then use his experience and skills to help you reach that objective.

But notice that I said &quot;reasonable&quot; settlement, not just any settlement. If the other side cannot be convinced to settle the case on reasonable terms it is imperative that your lawyer be skillful and confident enough to effectively try your case.

Someone who is learning on the job, or is simply unprepared, can cost you a great deal of money. So don't cheat yourself out of dollars in an attempt to save nickels

About the Author
Scott Morgan is a practicing Texas divorce attorney. For more information on <a target="_new" href="http://www.texas-divorce-info.com">texas divorce</a> visit his website at <a target="_new" href="http://www.texas-divorce-info.com">http://www.texas-divorce-info.com</a>. The website provides general information and resources on divorce, as well as specific information on Texas divorce law.

Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!

Let me preface this by saying right up front - this is NOT for everyone. The key is that my situation was friendly enough to still communicate with each other after we split. My ex-wife and I agreed that our kids were certainly worth that! And we still have to deal with one another until they are through college. This is offered as a life experience only and not intended as legal advice. As such, this may not apply to you.

After 25 years of marriage, I decided that I did not want to be married to my wife. We had drifted apart and in the last few years, things were getting worse. We had little in common anymore... including friends. By and large, mine were different from hers. She would go away on her weekends and I would go on mine. Other than our children, whom we both love very much, we were just a couple living together. She is still a good woman, just not one I wanted to be married to. There had to be something else... Sound familiar?

As our situation unfolded, she retained an attorney early on and we began negotiations in earnest within a month of separation. Sure we had our differences! But with an open line of communication available, we (her attorney and I) talked out our problems and came to an agreement within a few months.

I felt confident in representing myself after performing a few hours of research on the internet. And you bet, I was prepared to bail out and get an attorney too. But having done the research, nothing that came up was a surprise at all. I was very pleasantly surprised and amazed. I found that many things were already prescribed by statute as being pretty cut and dried. Child support? Maintenance? In NY, where I live, it was a matter of using past incomes to arrive at an appropriate level. The method and level were already set.

When it seemed to be all sorted out, I went to an attorney that a friend recommended highly. He had an offer of the first consultation costing only $50. for a one half hour conference. All I did was take the agreement to him for review. At the consultations conclusion, his exact words were "It seems that you have a pretty good handle on this. If you can get this signed and executed, you don't need me. Just call me if anything changes." Frankly I was overwhelmed! I had just saved $3,000. minimum! Money that could be used to put MY kids through college, not his!

I don't really know how unique my situation was. Hence, I do credit some luck on my part, as I said in the article summary. But it wasn't difficult.

I have performed a few legal services for myself in the past such as setting up a corporation, partnership, and purchase agreements. I believe that a person of reasonable intelligence can save an incredible amount of money on legal services, if they will do the research and use the preprinted legal forms that so many attorneys use themselves. It helps if you have gone through similar situations in the past. But had I ever had a divorce? Heck no! I had been married for over 25 years.

But here's the catch, I don't have a degree in law either! I urge you to not take this as a slam on attorneys. They have an excellent purpose in society, in spite of the jokes. I had the comfort level that allowed me to proceed beyond what I had anticipated I could. It won't work for everyone. Certainly, not everyone has that comfort level. It worked for me.

As a result of his life experiences, the author, George R Devendorf, was able to save several thousand dollars in legal fees. As a result, Mr. Devendorf has created a website to help others that feel able to represent themselves in certain legal matters. <a target="_new" href="http://www.GotLegalHelp.com">http://www.GotLegalHelp.com</a> offers downloadable legal forms that are the same forms used by attorneys themselves! Whether your issue is Divorce, Incorporation, Last Will & Testament, Prenuptial Agreement, or Bankruptcy, GLH forms are available for most states.

Divorce -Is It Lawful?

The question of divorce and its lawfulness is of long standing. The law-makers of our day have tried to answer the question. In many countries of the world it is said, "Yes, divorce is lawful." Yet after the government has granted permission and many have obtained divorce by suits at law, the question still remains, Is divorce lawful?

In Mark 10:2-12 this question was put to Jesus, "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?" The Pharisees brought the question in an atmosphere of test, but it reveals an attitude of conscience that prevailed. Is divorce all right, or is there something about it that may not be right? The Pharisees tried to build a case against Jesus. At the same time they revealed a consciousness that divorce is wrong. The principles of right instilled in man by God are not easily set aside. Not only in divorce is this true but also in other areas of life. Consider, for example, the taking of human life. To take the life of another person is instinctively recognized as being against the law of God. So it is with divorce. The instinct of fidelity in one man and one woman brings the question, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?

To bring these Pharisees to the truth, Jesus took them to their own laws and to their own acclaimed leader and lawgiver, Moses. He questioned them, "What did Moses command you?" They were well acquainted with the Law of Moses. They knew the many grievances that had been taken to Moses. He had heard such complaints as, "I took a wife, but I hate her" (Deuteronomy 22:13); "I took a wife, but she had some uncleanness" (Deuteronomy 24:1 ) . They were "suing for divorce." Malachi also in his day wrote of treachery against the wife of one's youth. The people were "suing for divorce."

All this the Pharisees knew. And they themselves were also guilty of similar treachery. At one time they brought a woman to Jesus, accusing her of adultery. "She was taken in the very act," they said. But they did not bring the man who was just as guilty. They would have stoned her, but would have let the man go free. Jesus reproved them by answering and saying, "He that is without [this] sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" (John 8:1-4). Their own consciences witnessed against them of their own sin, and they left one by one, realizing full well that they were all guilty of this same sin in their hearts perhaps many times in the past.

"What did Moses command you?" They answered, "Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away." Why then the question? They still wanted to trap Jesus, while at the same time they instinctively knew that there was something wrong with divorce. Now the indictment became clear. Jesus pointed to the hardness of their hearts. The Pharisees' hearts were hard. The people in Malachi's day had hardness of heart. The complainers in Moses' day were hard of heart. Jesus said, "For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept." All who seek divorce have hard, unbelieving hearts.

Then out of the concern of Jesus' heart for the Pharisees and all who should live after, Jesus gave the principle that God had established from the beginning: "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" (Mark 10:6-9). He said that in marriage God had formed a relationship that cannot be broken by man without violating this principle. God made one flesh of the twain, that is, of the male and the female in marriage.

In order to pursue the original question, we need to consider the various situations and possibilities that are producing confusion about the legality of divorce today. It is true that man can reason his way to justify whatever he desires. However, we must reckon with God and His Word to find the right answer. The Bible gives us answers that need to be applied and lived by.

Sometimes the exception clause in Matthew 5:32 is used to support divorce in cases of unfaithfulness. But such reasoning cannot be reconciled with the other New Testament passages on divorce and remarriage, which are very clear in their statement. The hardness of heart would grasp for a loophole here and fail to reckon faithfully with the clear statement of God's Word in a number of other passages. This is hardly a safe approach to the Word.

The question is often raised, What about the innocent one? The Bible does not teach of an innocent one. Anyone (a third person) who marries one that is put away (even a so- called innocent one) is guilty of adultery also. "And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery" (Matthew 5:32) If the divorce made the first marriage void, they would not be guilty of sin. However, the Bible states the guilt. Notice the word committeth, which would mean "a continued action." It does not say "has committed."

What do we say about those who divorce and remarry in sin and then want to come to Christ without separating? Repentance includes a forsaking of sin. How shall we continue in sin and be saved? If a deed such as divorce and remarriage is sin outside of Christ, what merit would there be in coming to Christ and still continuing in sin? Christ came to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. How could individuals continue in sin and claim Christ's atoning work?

In John 8:11 we have the gracious words of Jesus, "Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more." There is pardon for all sinners who repent, but individuals cannot continue in the same sin of which they have repented. Repentance is "a turning from sin, and sorrow for past sin."

Sometimes the responsibility of the first marriage is excused on the basis that the marriage was not in the Lord as 1 Corinthians 7:39 states. It must be recognized that God instituted marriage for the entire race. He gave authority to the civil government to control and perform marriage ceremonies. Therefore He honors the ceremonies performed by them. A vivid example of this is found in Matthew 14:4, where John the Baptist condemned King Herod for having Herodias, his brother's wife, as his wife. Herod was subject to God's law on marriage even though he was definitely not in the Lord.

The writings of Paul the apostle have been used to teach his tolerance of divorce and remarriage. If Romans 7:1-3 is examined along with other references, we see Paul upholding the sacredness of marriage. The example is a marriage of one man and one woman, and the obligation is upon them as long as both are living. This lifelong obligation is compared to the responsibility to the Law until the Law was fulfilled in Christ. It is very clear that marriage is binding until the death of the husband or wife.

We have the Lord's commandments in 1 Corinthians 7:10, 11: "Let not the wife depart from her husband: . . . and let not the husband put away his wife." If the woman does depart, she shall remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. In the New Testament remarriage is not allowed as long as a partner is living.

1 Corinthians 7:17 gives direction to those who were married as unbelievers. When one becomes a believer, the believer is not to depart from the unbeliever. Verse 17 is applied to the previous verses, 12 to 16. Verse 20 applies to verses 18 and 19 on circumcision Verse 24 is direction to servants and freemen spoken of in verses 21 to 23. Would the apostle contradict the Lord's commandment given in verses 10 and 11 with verse 17, 20, and 24? No ! Notice again the lifelong emphasis given in verse 39: "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."

In Ephesians 5, marriage is compared to the relationship between Christ and His church. We are admonished to love within the marriage bond as enduringly as Christ loves the church. Of Jesus it is said, "Having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end." Certainly no divorcement will terminate the union of Christ and His church. Therefore we should not institute one in the earthly union that symbolizes it. Also, submission to each other should be as lasting in the earthly relation as our submission to Christ is in the spiritual relation. No divorce is allowed for those who profess to serve the Lord Jesus.

Since divorce is a damnable sin, it behooves all those who are married and those who contemplate marriage to consider well the importance of the marriage vows. These vows are based on the Scriptures and involve both parties as long as they shall live. Jesus said, "Let not man put [the married ones] asunder." The Apostle Paul said that the married ones are bound as long as they live. God, who joins the twain in one alone may break the bond. He who gives life alone has the authority to take life. Otherwise he who takes the life of another is a murderer, "and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him" (1 John 3:15). Likewise divorce comes under God's judgments.

The unbeliever breaks the marriage relation to his own hurt. Infidelity and divorce can be forgiven by God's grace, "but the way of transgressors is hard." There is much sorrow and disappointment that will be reaped. But God gives abundant grace to the penitent who in faith obey Him.

The Bible says, "Adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4). We can offer no hope of heaven to a divorced and remarried person regardless of church membership, unless, there is repentance and forsaking of sin.

Those finding themselves entangled in the divorce evil must forsake it to experience the mercy of God. Humanly speaking, anyone would shrink from it and say the cost is too high. But would it not be utterly foolish and also disastrous to allow and overlook divorce and remarriage when God clearly tells us that He will not overlook it? Since we know that this issue involves eternity, present life takes on a different perspective. The way or choice of obedience to God is well rewarded in an eternity with Him in glory. On the other hand, refusing to recognize and act on God's Word brings eternal condemnation.

Beware of those who pretend to know God but refuse to take God at His Word. Human reasoning must be abandoned, and God must be allowed to have the final word; because finally, in judgment, God is the one who judges all men according to the Bible.

We must accept what God has decreed. Then we can enjoy the good things that God has in store. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." God would have us nourish and cherish each other, for each is a member of the other. Keep the symbolism before you and never, never let divorce be once named among you and thereby spoil the symbol. Live joyfully with the wife of your youth; let her loving presence satisfy you at all times. Why would you be ravished with a strange woman? God is watching, and He ponders your way. To err is to be held with the cords of sin "He shall die without instruction; and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray." See Proverbs 5:18-23.

If you enjoyed this article and found it helpful I am glad, if not look at <a target="_new" href="http://www.successmagnet.org">www.successmagnet.org </a>

If you found the above article useful please write: Christian Aid Ministries, 3247 Bricker School Line, Route # 3, Wallenstein, Ontario, Canada, N0B 2S0

Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!

Let me preface this by saying right up front - this is NOT for everyone. The key is that my situation was friendly enough to still communicate with each other after we split. My ex-wife and I agreed that our kids were certainly worth that! And we still have to deal with one another until they are through college. This is offered as a life experience only and not intended as legal advice. As such, this may not apply to you.

After 25 years of marriage, I decided that I did not want to be married to my wife. We had drifted apart and in the last few years, things were getting worse. We had little in common anymore... including friends. By and large, mine were different from hers. She would go away on her weekends and I would go on mine. Other than our children, whom we both love very much, we were just a couple living together. She is still a good woman, just not one I wanted to be married to. There had to be something else... Sound familiar?

As our situation unfolded, she retained an attorney early on and we began negotiations in earnest within a month of separation. Sure we had our differences! But with an open line of communication available, we (her attorney and I) talked out our problems and came to an agreement within a few months.

I felt confident in representing myself after performing a few hours of research on the internet. And you bet, I was prepared to bail out and get an attorney too. But having done the research, nothing that came up was a surprise at all. I was very pleasantly surprised and amazed. I found that many things were already prescribed by statute as being pretty cut and dried. Child support? Maintenance? In NY, where I live, it was a matter of using past incomes to arrive at an appropriate level. The method and level were already set.

When it seemed to be all sorted out, I went to an attorney that a friend recommended highly. He had an offer of the first consultation costing only $50. for a one half hour conference. All I did was take the agreement to him for review. At the consultations conclusion, his exact words were "It seems that you have a pretty good handle on this. If you can get this signed and executed, you don't need me. Just call me if anything changes." Frankly I was overwhelmed! I had just saved $3,000. minimum! Money that could be used to put MY kids through college, not his!

I don't really know how unique my situation was. Hence, I do credit some luck on my part, as I said in the article summary. But it wasn't difficult.

I have performed a few legal services for myself in the past such as setting up a corporation, partnership, and purchase agreements. I believe that a person of reasonable intelligence can save an incredible amount of money on legal services, if they will do the research and use the preprinted legal forms that so many attorneys use themselves. It helps if you have gone through similar situations in the past. But had I ever had a divorce? Heck no! I had been married for over 25 years.

But here's the catch, I don't have a degree in law either! I urge you to not take this as a slam on attorneys. They have an excellent purpose in society, in spite of the jokes. I had the comfort level that allowed me to proceed beyond what I had anticipated I could. It won't work for everyone. Certainly, not everyone has that comfort level. It worked for me.

As a result of his life experiences, the author, George R Devendorf, was able to save several thousand dollars in legal fees. As a result, Mr. Devendorf has created a website to help others that feel able to represent themselves in certain legal matters. <a target="_new" href="http://www.GotLegalHelp.com">http://www.GotLegalHelp.com</a> offers downloadable legal forms that are the same forms used by attorneys themselves! Whether your issue is Divorce, Incorporation, Last Will & Testament, Prenuptial Agreement, or Bankruptcy, GLH forms are available for most states.

Houston Divorce Lawyer - West Houston Attorney Answers Common Questions About Mediation

If you are reading this, then you are probably either thinking of filing for divorce -- or have a feeling that your spouse may be filing for divorce -- whether you want to separate or not.

One of the common questions that an individual going through the divorce process asks is "What is a Divorce Mediation?"

Mediation is a process which allows both you and your spouse to maintain control over your destiny and the terms of your divorce settlement. Both parties and attorneys attend either a four-hour or eight-hour mediation, depending on the complexity of your case.

Is the Mediator a Lawyer?

Although some mediators are social workers, most commonly the mediator is a lawyer who acts as a neutral person to help you settle your case.

How is the Mediator Chosen?

The mediator is chosen and agreed upon by the attorneys. Every Family Law attorney has a "short list" of competent mediators who specialize in family law with whom we are familiar, whose style we are comfortable with, and who we have found to be effective, particularly considering the individual aspects of your specific case.

What is the Role of the Mediator?

The role of the mediator is to facilitate an agreement between the parties to prevent the necessity for a trial.

Can What I Say Be Used Against Me Later?

Everything said during mediation is confidential. The mediator cannot be made to testify in court if a settlement is not reached. The mediator will only report one of two things: "settlement": or "no settlement".

Further, you and your attorney will advise the mediator what you do or do not want shared with your spouse and your spouse's attorney!

How Does This Work Exactly?

Procedurally, you and your attorney will remain in one room, while your spouse and his or her attorney stays in a separate room. The mediator travels from room to room conveying each side's offer and/or counteroffer.

Sometimes, the parties mediate by all being in the same room together. This is common if your mediation is taking place at a county dispute resolution center.

Law Office of Marilyn Gale Vilyus
Attorney/ Mediator
16151 Cairnway Drive Ste. 210
Houston, TX 77084 281-550-6650
<a target="_new" href="http://www.westhoustonattorney.com">http://www.westhoustonattorney.com</a>

Not certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization.

This article is designed for general information only. This information is not intended to be legal advice. Consult an attorney for before making any legal decisions based on your individual circumstances.

Marilyn Gale Vilyus is a Houston Lawyer focussing on Texas family law, child support, child custody, and divorce mediation.

Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source

Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.

Seems simple enough right?

Yes, but...lots of people who are deciding about divorce and seeking divorce advice lump the categories of divorce advice into one, and that's a big mistake. You should seek divorce advice from different types of places for the different types of advice that you need. Certainly there's more types of divorce advice categories, but here's a partial list:

Divorce advice type 1:

Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are sure that you want a divorce, no matter how tough it will be to get that divorce.

When asking for this type of divorce advice while meeting with an attorney, you may be asked if you're certain that you actually do want a divorce?if you do, don't waver, stick to your decision. It makes sense to have a good idea of all of the parts of your life, family and materials, that could be affected or sought after. You want to have your facts, account names, timelines, etc., in mind when meeting with the attorney so that your discussion is maximized.

Divorce advice type 2:

Legal advice for getting a divorce when you are almost sure that you want a divorce, but want to make sure that the financial considerations are in order or that health of your children won't suffer in the long run.

When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in family matters for the impact that a divorce might have on your children. The point is, split the two concerns up so that you get the chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.

Divorce advice type 3:

Legal advice for getting a divorce in a case that is relatively simple and will be a clean break, no financial or other family considerations to take into account for the divorce.

This is perhaps the easiest type of divorce advice to get because it infers that you have already made the decision from an emotional standpoint and really don't have any other considerations of deep concern. When seeking this type of divorce advice, you most likely have limited financial considerations, a prenuptial agreement, or the situation itself as amenable to everyone and you just need someone to do the paperwork.

Divorce advice type 4:

Legal and/or counseling advice regarding whether or not divorce is right for you from a psychological, emotional and financial perspective.

When asking for this type of divorce advice, you may want to consider seeking the advice of an attorney or financial planner for the financial considerations and a counselor experienced in Clinical Psychology and "personal-life" coaching for the impact that a divorce might have on you. Again, the point is, split the two concerns up so that you get a chance to speak to 2 different people who specialize in each area so that you will get the appropriate divorce advice.

Divorce advice type 5:

Counseling for emotional support when deciding whether or not you really want a divorce or are just unhappy in your marriage due to a marriage problem.

This type of divorce advice is crucial to your happiness because when you're in an emotional state, it is tough to make lucid and rational decisions. And, if you're wrestling with deciding whether or not to get a divorce (purely from an emotional perspective), you should do all you can to make a logical decision because how you approach this decision and the affects afterwards can be long lasting and far reaching. If you're are struggling with finding divorce advice, you may want to talk to friends, counselors, even other family members.

But, my divorce advice to you is, do it yourself.

I'm not saying don't talk with friends, counselors, and possibly family. What I am suggesting is that you reach the final decision of whether to get a divorce on your own, you have to live with it, no one else. The answer is inside you, you just have to get it out in a logical manner.

Whatever type of divorce advice you need, be sure that you're directing your energies in the right direction. If you don't separate the emotional aspects from the legal aspects of divorce advice, you might end up confused and unable to get the most out of any meeting you may have with an attorney or marriage counselor. At the end of the day, you should control your own destiny and make a smart decision based on logic, controlled emotion, and forward thinking.

Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" , the eBook recommended by counselors to thier clients. Proven "Actions Items" to help you decide!

<a target="_new" href="http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com">deciding on divorce</a>
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Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective

It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective.

Children do not understand why parents no longer love each other and cannot stay together. Prior to divorce or separation they have only known that happy caring family environment which they were brought into. To them their world has been turned upside down and they cannot see why. If parents loved each other in the past, then why can't they love one another in the future.

Children often believe that they could be the reason for a break up in a marriage which can result in long term damaging guilt complexes. A child's character often changes during divorce or separation when things are not normal at home. Children can be very sensitive to the emotional environment.

During divorce or separation many children become disruptive at school, argumentative at home and some even go into a recluse. This can be a very lonely time, particularly if they are an only child. Their friends are not going through what they are emotionally. Hence they feel that they are the odd one out all of a sudden and do not know how to cope with the situation. All they want is for their life to go back to a normal family life where parents don't argue and row as it may have been before the stress of divorce or seperation.

When a couple decide that divorce is the only option and separation is a necessity, children are again the ones that it effects the most. They are told that they will be with one parent one day and the other the next. How are they supposed to form any kind of routine ? This can often result in children not sleeping in their own beds as they prefer the comfort and security of being with a parent. Children often feel insecure and are most vulnerable even at school when they listen to their friends planning family outings and holidays.

Children of divorcing parents can feel as though they are going to miss out on family events and get togethers. During a divorce each parent makes separate commitments to a child and It is important that when arrangements have been made by the parent or parents that they keep to them as the child will feel let down and resent a parent for not being there for them after they had said they would. Reliability and punctuality are of utmost importance to a child. They will clock watch and expect to see you on time and have been looking forward to spending time with you wherever you decide to take them. In a child's eyes it's you they want to be with and it's your time spent with them that's most important to them even after the divorce or separation.

Divorce can bring our the worst in people. Never run down the other parent in front of your child. This creates resentment and bad feelings all round. Also, never think that you can buy a child if you are late or fail to follow through with your promise. Although you may think that you are doing good for buying your child a toy to impress them - think again - keep that special toy for a birthday or Christmas present. Your time to be with them is much more valuable than a toy. Even after the divorce or separation they will remember where you took them and what a fantastic time you both had rather than a toy. They will talk about your outing or time together for days because it meant so much to them to see you and have you all to themselves. Quality time rather than quantity of toys is far more important to a child.

These are just some of the issues children face when parents are going through the throws of a divorce or separation and every attempt should be made by divorcing parents to limit or reduce these adverse affects upon children.

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

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Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to Handle the Split Loyalties with Friends After Separation

We have all most probably encountered it at some stage in our lives - who do we stay friends with after a couple divorces or separates?

The text book answer is to stay friends with both parties of course but that's a mighty tall order to fulfil as we are dealing with human emotions and judgemental attitudes here as well.

Fortunately I think that most normal friends witnessing a couple of family splitting up can actually see both sides of the coin and actually do stay away from taking sides.

However, in the real world the divorcing couple will normally expect you to commit to one side or the other and this pattern often establishes itself way before the final separation or divorce. This is due to our blame culture where we often ignore our own responsibilities for the situation we find ourselves in - it's always someone else's fault - black & white, when actually there will be many shades of grey that overlap and it is often not until many years later and upon a lot of reflective thought that we suddenly realise that we were actually partly to blame for the failure of that relationship.

So, how do friends handle the initial expectation from one part of the divorcing couple to now ignore their former partner? It can be really tough for friends of separating partners - you know, who do you invite to the family party - him or her - can you invite both? - what will happen if they both meet at the daughters wedding? - god forbid but what will happen should each one bring a new partner? - The scenarios are endless.

Having experienced several friends now go through divorce and separation proceedings and each one has found its own set of issues, I can say that there is no set advice or guidance in the form of a one size fits all answer.

However, there are a few outline framework procedures that I would certainly adopt in order to ensure that your former couple remain friends long after the divorce or separation.

Firstly - always try to balance being sympathetic and understanding to your main friend but without actually agreeing to any of their own conclusions regarding blame etc. - remember your only hearing one side of a very unbalanced perspective. This ensures that you do not reinforce your friends biased viewpoint and you can still remain impartial - very important. This may require exemplary diplomatic skills but if your conscious of this fact can actually be quite challenging and rewarding - its like being tested yourself.

Secondly, make it clear to your main friend that you may still see or respond to their former partner from time to time after the divorce or separation for obvious and practical reasons. Most of our lives are intertwined these days with other stuff such as the sharing of the school run or business contacts for example. It needs to be made clear by way of simple inexplicit references with your normal conversations that this will happen. This signals to your main friend that divided loyalties are not actually that simple to divide in the manner that they may be thinking. It also ensures that you are not accused of being a 'Judas' and losing the confidence or friendship of your main friend when they find out that you have had contact with their former partner.

And thirdly, never, ever say what you really thought of their former partner even if you think that having empathy with their feelings will help them over this period - Just remember that a high proportion of separating couples do actually end up getting back together again & releasing a load of sympathetic venom last month will stick in your reunited friends throat like barbed wire and your relationship with them both will never be the same again.

Within these three basic guidance rules will be a whole host of anomalies that will occur that will need careful thoughtful planning on what your responses will be for each individual case of a divorcing couple. It wont be easy - it never is especially when dealing with a high emotional content. But trying to frame your responses within these three basic guidance rules should ensure that your friendship is retained and remains flexible for most situations that may occur over the coming years.

Jenny Clair editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com has formed a community web site exploring the various issues of divorce, separation and breakdowns in relationships.

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Healing Dysfunctional Families

In a recent article entitled "Some Evidence On How We Are Spiritually Connected" I reported on a case study that revealed how individuals who share common traumatic memories can help each other release the trauma at a distance employing a new tool called the Mind Resonance Process(TM). In this article I will elaborate some of the potential applications of such a result as well as its far reaching implications.

It is well known that within family systems, for instance, the individuals therein share an entire life history of common trauma. Often this trauma may be in the form of isolated incidents experienced by one individual outside of the family setting and then brought into the family via direct contact. In other situations the trauma may be the result of relationship difficulties within the family system itself.

In the quoted study it became evident that one way of accounting for the distance healing effects was by invoking the concept of an energy field of information within which is stored, just like on the hard drive of your computer, the life history of the individual. Hence the non-local, i.e. distant, effects of one field on another could then be used to explain the distance healing results that I observed.

Now it is also clear that one's DNA, with its own energy field, was inherited from one's parents, and theirs from their parents and so on. In other words the DNA, which is in every cell of one's body and whose energy field affects and informs the energy field of the entire body is doing so with many generations of historical information embedded in it.

In other words, it could be said that one is carrying many generations of trauma, not just one's own family history or life history of trauma. Now because the field interactions ie. interpersonal and intergenerational, that result from any trauma immediately and pervasively affect everyone in the collective energy field then such individuals become negatively affected. This is hypothesized to predispose individuals within a collective field to certain emotional and/or physical illnesses.

The interesting point however is that now we have a tool that is able to release negative fragments of trauma i.e. a traumatic memory, anywhere in the collective field and this hypothetically will automatically reverberate throughout the entire collective field, across space and time. This will release the effects of such trauma on anyone who has been, is, or ever will be part of that collective field.

The effects should be somewhat similar to what was described in the experience of the individuals in the quoted study. These include such things as a reclaiming of vital energy within individuals and within the system as a whole. What is also hypothetically possible is an entire restructuring of relational dynamics within the system. This is because the individuals will each shift to a place closer to their true or authentic selves.

What does all this mean? Well for one it means a happier and more peaceful family system that is invigorated and connected with positive loving energy rather than negative destructive energy. As I'm sure you can see the implications for the larger systems such as communities or the planet as a whole is staggering.

Nick Arrizza M.D. is an Energy Psychiatrist, Healer, Researcher, Speaker, Developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process(TM), and Author of e-book: "Esteem for the Self: A Manual for Personal Transformation" which is available for download on his web site at: <a target="_new" href="http://www.telecoaching4u.com/ebook.htm">http://www.telecoaching4u.com/ebook.htm</a> Dr. Arrizza holds ongoing International Telephone Healing and Teleconference Sessions on topics relating to Healing and Spirituality.

There Is Life After Divorce

A married woman becomes a single woman for one of two reasons: death or divorce. The former is an honourable state, the latter is not.

When a woman loses her husband to death the neighbours all rally round and provide meals and any help they can give with regard to household repairs or cleaning or anything that is needed. They are willing to provide comfort and a shoulder to cry on. They are available for the widow and they include her in their activities, feeling sorry for her that she is now so alone.

However, things are quite different when a marriage ends due to infidelity or marital breakdown. That immediately plunges a woman into a new category. She is transformed, instantaneously it seems,from a married woman to a divorcee. Becoming one of many, part of a group of used and discarded women, seen as suspect by all those who are still safely ensconced in the womb of their marriage.

People tend to withdraw from her. Invitations to get togethers cease. It appears that women think their husbands might be attracted to the idea of an &quot;available woman&quot; and so the women who used to be friends withdraw and leave her alone with her tears and her fears. There are no meals prepared and no offers of help. Husbands are kept at home just in case, for such is the image portrayed of a divorcee. The husbands might not be safe. She might cause the destruction of other marriages.

We read jokes all the time about the lonely divorcee who invites the mailman, the milkman, or the Maytag repairman into her home with the intent of seducing him. (A joke made up, I am sure, by a man who has never known the humiliation and pain of being a divorcee.) Perhaps she even seduces them one right after the other, for such is the life of the &quot;gay divorcee&quot;, isn't it? Freed from the bonds of marriage, with unmet needs and desires, divorcees are wanting to fill the void; or at least that is the popular image. And so in place of invitations to parties or neighbourhood barbeques which were formerly were issued to the couple and their family, there is an empty mailbox, and the phone stays quiet. She checks it every now and then to make sure it is still working.

The divorcee begins to feel as though she no longer exists; as if, because she is no longer half of a relationship, she ceases to be a part of the neighbourhood. Women who used to call her friend no longer call. Her children are not invited to play with the neighbours' children. Perhaps the women feel they would be contaminated by the disease of divorce, as if it were a virus that could be caught, or maybe they just don't know how to talk to a newly divorced woman. A divorced man, on the other hand, is often seen as more eligible and is a welcome addition to many parties. His social life may increase, and because he usually does not have the children, his disposable income is often enough to keep him comfortably.

However, life goes on. The bills still have to be paid, the kids still have to be fed and they have to be clothed. Family chores that were done by two are now done by one. If the children are old enough, they can chip in and help with the household duties such as dishes and meal preparation and housecleaning. Because of the reduction in income, the divorcee is often forced to seek employment and then she has two jobs; one inside and one outside the home.

Sometimes the inside life doesn't change much. For those who had husbands who simply went to work and came home at night expecting to be waited on, their workload is reduced by one person, so this can be a blessing. But the availability of a backup when she is really tired and the kids are really obnoxious is a problem. She has to deal with all the problems, tired or not.

Because she has been ostracized by her neighbours she seeks out other divorcees for companionship, often building relationships and forming deep bonds that last for years as they share the day to day problems and achievements. They get together with their kids and pool their resources for family dinners. They support each other in job searches, in the handling of problems, in the fights with their exes. They listen to each other and care for each other's children.

Sometimes, because of the great reduction in income, divorcees are forced to apply for an allowance from the provincial government. This is known as welfare or Mother's Allowance. There they are told that they have no right to have a phone or a car, or any of the things they consider necessities but the government considers luxuries, such as a heating bill over the allotted amount. Widows, on the other hand, usually receive a pension from their husband's estate which they can spend however they want, with no rules. The divorcees are told to sell the car and get rid of the phone, even if they are out in the country. If they have a house, they might have to give it up and move the children to a new area. Sometimes, in order to survive, they may use credit cards to buy the things they feel they need for their kids for school and other activities. They may not be able to send their kids on school trips or buy the clothes that the kids need to fit in and so their kids may be ridiculed because of the way they dress. When the kids come home crying, they often feel guilty and wonder if they couldn't have worked things out better with their ex-husbands. They cry but try to hide the tears from their children, not wanting to upset them.

When the divorcee ventures into the realms of the full-time employee instead of part-time, she must find a babysitter for her kids, arrange everyone's schedule and settle into her new lifestyle. She tries to find a boss who is willing to let her attend the various special events at her children's school and cries silently to herself when she is unable to attend a day graduation due to work, or when she is unable to see her children receive sports awards, but she knows that she is doing the best she can. She attends what she can in the evenings and on weekends and hopes it is enough.

As the divorcee settles into life on her own, she may begin to find advantages such as being able to go where she wants, when she wants and with whom she wants. She has only to consider herself, and her kids, if she has any. Eventually the heartaches will ease a little and the divorcee will reach out to others a little more, perhaps even being willing to take the risk of dating another man.

Her circumstances may not have changed a lot. She still struggles to pay bills, to provide for her kids, yet she finds her life is full. Not the rumoured life of the gay divorcee, replete with men or with parties and wild living, but one of love for her kids, and perhaps of studying for a degree while working in a fulfilling career where helping others. She has weathered the storms of life and feels that she has come out on top. Her children move on to their own homes and to employment. Perhaps her eldest has his dream job, that of webmaster and service technician. Another may become the youngest Inventory Control Manager and the only female one in Eastern Ontario for a large soft drink company. Another, with a child of her own, may work part-time and plan to return to school to take an Esthetics course. Her children could be very involved in hockey, perhaps playing at the AA level or Junior A level which requires a lot of travelling and sacrifice of personal time. But to her it is all worth it to watch her child score the winning goal and to see the smile on his face as he turns from the net. Her heart swells with pride as his teammates congratulate him and the parents lean over to say how well he played.

Yes, life continues after divorce, the pain and heartache suffered in the beginning eventually fade somewhat and the divorcee finds the strength to survive and, more than that, to move on to whatever the future has in store.

For more poetry and stories you can go to Fran's webpage <a target="_new" href="http://www.franwatson.ca">http://www.franwatson.ca</a>

9 Steps to Regaining Self-Esteem After Divorce

Divorce is difficult at the 'best' of times. Even when a couple makes a combined decision to divorce, it can be extremely trying.

What happens if the decision is one sided? What happens to the party who can sometimes feel blind-sided by one person's decision that they no longer want to be a part of this union?

Been there, done that. Only I wasn't the one who made the decision to leave the relationship. It was my ex-husband's decision. Okay, I helped him make the actual decision to leave (he didn't have much choice), but the result was the same. Feelings of &quot;what's wrong with me?&quot; are abundant.

So here are some things that will help you to get your self esteem back after a divorce:

1. Talk to someone.

The first step to resolving those feelings is to talk to someone. Bend a familiar ear?be it biased or unbiased. Whether it's to a trusted friend, or to a counselor, getting it out verbally is a great start to regaining your sense of self.

2. Be Honest.

If you decide that you're going to seek help from a counselor, make sure that you tell the entire truth about what you're feeling. Be as honest as you possibly can. How can a counselor do his/her job properly, if you're not completely honest? Regardless of what you tell a counselor, he/she is not there to judge you, merely to listen and to offer some constructive unbiased advice if necessar. Not criticism, just advice.

3. Keep a Journal.

Writing down what's going on in your head is also helpful, weather you choose to do that via paper journal, or online journal, both are helpful. I find that using an online journal is much easier, as I don't write nearly as quickly as I type.

4. Get to know yourself again.

It's typical to lose oneself during the course of a relationship. I know I did! So after my divorce, I took some time to get to know &quot;Me&quot; all over again. Do whatever it is that you love to do! If you enjoyed snowboarding before you were married, get back to it! If you enjoyed knitting, put aside some time to do that. Read some good books, enjoy spending time with new friends, go away for the weekend, go and be you!

5. Don't let those negative feelings back in.

Once you've written down feelings that aren't positive (&quot;I hate him/her. I can't believe that he/she did this to me.&quot;) in a journal of some type, you'll notice that if you go back and re-read those bad feelings (and we all do it at least once), you're mentally and emotionally back in that place all over again. Re-reading the ugly details of my divorce for instance, used to put me in that mood all over again (I've since tossed that journal). So my advice with regard to writing down negative feelings, is to write them down, then discard them. Tear them up, burn them, whatever it takes, but don't let those negative thoughts back in.

6. Meet some new people.

When couples divorce, there may be a feeling amongst some of the friends of that couple who feel as though there is a need to take sides. You may find that you will need to meet new people, and take a step back from that even for a short time. Get yourself some friends that you and your ex don't have in common. My ex and I used to work in the same industry, and as a result, we shared a lot of the same business colleagues. So as soon as our relationship ended, I started my own business doing something that wasn't related in any way, shape or form to what he does for a living. I feel like a zillion bucks &#61514;.

7. Find new interests.

The next step to rebuilding your sense of self-esteem would be to find some new interests. Find something that makes you feel good/better about yourself. Kickboxing. Kickboxing is an amazing way to get rid of certain frustrations, AND introduces you to a new sport (I brought a picture of my ex to my kickboxing class, and taped it to the heavy bag.). If you enjoy being outdoors, you might consider joining a running club, a rowing club, or anything else that allows you to be outdoors while meeting new people.

8. Make peace with yourself.

Understand that what happened, for whatever reason that it happened, is done. Over. Let it go. Move on. Whatever kind of bitterness that may have existed when he/she left, is going to have to get lost or it will get in the way of your true progress. I know. I did it. Get past it. How do you 'get past it'? By doing these nine steps.

9. Accept the fact that things happen.

No doubt about it. Bad things happen to good people, and vice versa. Stuff happens more often than it doesn't. Nothing we can do about it. Can't control it. Can't keep it from happening. Accept it. You'll feel better for it.

Debbie Burgin has been divorced for 5 years. She discovered upon the exit of her ex-husband, that her divorce was actually for the best. She's discovered that post-divorce, she and her children are happier, and more relaxed in their lives. She runs two of her own businesses, <a target="_new" href="http://www.warnerdigitalmedia.com">http://www.warnerdigitalmedia.com</a>, and <a target="_new" href="http://www.debbieburgin.com">http://www.debbieburgin.com</a>, and counsels other divorced women to "get out there, and live life!"

Houston Divorce Lawyer - West Houston Attorney Answers Common Questions About Mediation

If you are reading this, then you are probably either thinking of filing for divorce -- or have a feeling that your spouse may be filing for divorce -- whether you want to separate or not.

One of the common questions that an individual going through the divorce process asks is "What is a Divorce Mediation?"

Mediation is a process which allows both you and your spouse to maintain control over your destiny and the terms of your divorce settlement. Both parties and attorneys attend either a four-hour or eight-hour mediation, depending on the complexity of your case.

Is the Mediator a Lawyer?

Although some mediators are social workers, most commonly the mediator is a lawyer who acts as a neutral person to help you settle your case.

How is the Mediator Chosen?

The mediator is chosen and agreed upon by the attorneys. Every Family Law attorney has a "short list" of competent mediators who specialize in family law with whom we are familiar, whose style we are comfortable with, and who we have found to be effective, particularly considering the individual aspects of your specific case.

What is the Role of the Mediator?

The role of the mediator is to facilitate an agreement between the parties to prevent the necessity for a trial.

Can What I Say Be Used Against Me Later?

Everything said during mediation is confidential. The mediator cannot be made to testify in court if a settlement is not reached. The mediator will only report one of two things: "settlement": or "no settlement".

Further, you and your attorney will advise the mediator what you do or do not want shared with your spouse and your spouse's attorney!

How Does This Work Exactly?

Procedurally, you and your attorney will remain in one room, while your spouse and his or her attorney stays in a separate room. The mediator travels from room to room conveying each side's offer and/or counteroffer.

Sometimes, the parties mediate by all being in the same room together. This is common if your mediation is taking place at a county dispute resolution center.

Law Office of Marilyn Gale Vilyus
Attorney/ Mediator
16151 Cairnway Drive Ste. 210
Houston, TX 77084 281-550-6650
<a target="_new" href="http://www.westhoustonattorney.com">http://www.westhoustonattorney.com</a>

Not certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization.

This article is designed for general information only. This information is not intended to be legal advice. Consult an attorney for before making any legal decisions based on your individual circumstances.

Marilyn Gale Vilyus is a Houston Lawyer focussing on Texas family law, child support, child custody, and divorce mediation.

The Legal Side of Divorce

While divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, even in the best of situations, it can also be a complicated legal matter that affects both parties equally. No matter how long your marriage has lasted or how few belongings you share together, it is also best to involve an attorney in your divorce proceedings. With out legal representation your rights could go unprotected and you could end up in financial trouble or even lose custody of your children or possessions.

Once you have contacted an attorney for legal representation, he or she will walk you through the most common steps of a divorce. Depending on the circumstances revolving around your divorce, this process can either be very simple and straight forward, or very complicated and time consuming.

The simplest divorces involve parties that have not been together very long, that do not have any children and that have very few, if any, shared items to divide. More complicated divorces come about from parties with a lot of mutually owned property, young children, and non-agreement on the proceedings. Non-agreement can include such things as differing opinions on how to split up property to bigger concerns such one party not wanting to agree to the divorce.

The first step in any divorce is filing a petition to announce your intentions of divorce. Even if both parties want a divorce, only one party will file this petition. In the petition, you lawyer will list your reason for seeking divorce. He or she will also advise you on which reason is more acceptable for your situation.

After a petition has been filed, your lawyer may suggest that you file a temporary order. A temporary order is usually filed for concerns about custody and child support where one party will need financial support or the guarantee of custody until final judgment is made. These orders are awarded within days of filing and stay in effect until the court hearing in your case.

Once a person has filed a petition for divorce or any temporary orders, these petitions are served to the other party. Through this service, the other party is notified of all petitions against him or her and is given the chance to respond to the petitions. In mutually agreed upon divorces, the response is as simple as a comment acknowledging the petition. In cases of disagreement, the response may contain disputes covering anything from the grounds of the divorce to disagreements on the division of property, child custody or support.

If there is no disagreement once a petition has been filed, then both parties will proceed without a trial to the dissolution of their marriage. However, if there are disagreements, further steps will need to be taken to sort them out.

Depending on the type of disagreement, the court has many venues to use to help the parties reach agreement. In the case of custody battles, the court may order both parties to attend a mediation session where a third party can help them settle their difference. In some cases, the court might also order an evaluation with a social worker to ensure that any solution is in the best interest of the children.

If the disagreement concerns monetary or property division, the court may order a conference for both parties that is overseen by a lawyer or a court employee. In this case the third party will work to help individual compromise while still holding onto their rights.

If the parties still cannot agree on the terms or provisions of the divorce, a trial will be necessary. In a divorce trial, both sides will explain and defend their positions and then a judge will decide on all matters of grounds, property division, child custody and support. Once the judge has made his ruling an order of dissolution is granted.

An order of dissolution legally ends the marriage and sets forth the legally binding terms for the end of the marriage. The terms include the judgments ordered on property division and child support.

Since each divorce comes with individual concerns and many migrating circumstances, it is very important that you choose a competent and experienced lawyer to represent you and your interests.

? 2005 <a target="_new" href="http://www.lawyervista.com">LawyerVista</a>, a website where you can find a lawyer in your city or state, including <a target="_new" href="http://www.lawyervista.com/37-state-HI-hawaii-divorce_lawyer.html">Hawaii divorce lawyers</a> and <a target="_new" href="http://www.lawyervista.com/37-state-TN-tennessee-divorce_lawyer.html">Tennessee divorce lawyers</a>. You may reprint this article as long as you don't alter or edit it in any way and include the author's credits and this copyright notice including a working link to us.

An In-Depth Look at Army Divorce Rates

Raleigh, NC-The largest divorce firm in the state, Rosen Law Firm, says they're not surprised by the sharp increase among Army divorce rates and that more needs to be done to counsel the spouses left at home and those deployed overseas.

&quot;There's a huge difference between typical divorces that we see on a daily basis and the military divorces that we're seeing,&quot; says Janet Fritts, a divorce attorney with Rosen Law Firm. &quot;The majority of civilian couples we deal with have stopped communicating somewhere during the marriage, but military couples have been communicating in more ways than ever before.&quot;

Divorce experts say young military marriages, co-ed military units, financial decision-making, and the bureaucracy of being a military officer's spouse are just some of the factors contributing to the already established problems of spousal absence and combat stress among military families.

&quot;Allocation of finances is a huge problem because so many military members have no control over their finances when they're overseas and their at-home spouses are spending the monthly checks the way they see fit, sometimes on their new love relationships,&quot; says Fritts. With deployments being more frequent and for longer periods, infidelity is another reason why the Army divorce rates have sharply increased. &quot;A lot of times it's the women who remain on base to take care of the children and when her husband is gone for 6 months to a year, she may inevitably make new relationships with the men on the base,&quot; says Fritts.

Military couples are usually far away from their families and they are not reminded of their marriage vows because they are so isolated on base or overseas. Fritts also explains the growing co-ed military units are not helping either as more military members are establishing relationships with the opposite sex during wartime.

Statistics show the largest increase recently in Army divorce rates are among officers, a position which Fritts describes as having an enormous responsibility. Coupled with the weight of being an officer, the pressure of being a military officer's spouse also adds to the problem. &quot;When they're left by themselves on the military base once their spouse deploys, a lot of spouses stop playing the game of being nice to the other military officer's spouses,&quot; Fritts explains. &quot;Once the deployed spouse returns there's a lot of disagreement on the roles played and the bureaucracy of military officers and their spouses.&quot;

Rosen Law Firm<Br> 4101 Lake Boone Trail, Suite 500<Br> Raleigh, NC 27607<Br> <a target="_new" href="http://www.rosen.com">www.rosen.com</a><Br> &quot;Divorce is Different Here&quot;

With offices in Raleigh, Charlotte, and now Chapel Hill/Durham, Rosen Law Firm is the largest divorce firm in North Carolina. Founded in 1990, the firm is dedicated to providing individual growth and support to couples seeking divorce by helping them move forward with their lives. Our staff of attorneys, accountants, and specially trained divorce coaches expertly address the complex issues of ending a marriage. Our innovative approach acknowledges that divorce is so much more than just a legal matter. Specialties include child custody, alimony, property distribution, separation agreements, and domestic violence relief.

For more information on Rosen Law Firm, or for an interview, please contact: Alison Kramer, Director of Public Relations, Office: 919-256-1542, Cell: 919-523-7104, akramer@rosen.com, <a target="_new" href="http://www.rosen.com">http://www.rosen.com</a>

How to Use a Divorce Lawyer

You want three things in your divorce attorney: expertise in divorce, reliability, and a good attitude. You want a lawyer who specializes in divorce (at least 50% of his/her case load), and unless you're expecting a no-holds-barred battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who practices it professionally. Mediation-minded attorneys are more likely to give you neutral and problem-solving advice, whereas traditional attorneys tend to be more oriented to conflict and their advice tends to be adversarial. Your attorney must be someone you can trust and work with comfortably, someone who has your confidence. <BR><BR> Once you've found the right lawyer, here are some tips on how you can use your attorney in ways that will make your divorce go as smoothly and inexpensively as possible. <BR><BR> <B>Using a lawyer efficiently.</B> The most important thing is to be very well prepared whenever you contact a lawyer. Know your facts, know what you want to ask about, and know exactly what you want the lawyer to explain or do for you. Plan each conversation; make an agenda; write down the things you want to talk about; take notes on the content of the conversation; keep track of time spent on all phone calls and meetings. Keep a file for all your notes and all letters and documents. Do as much as possible on the phone and by mail to keep the office time at a minimum. <BR><BR> Regard your attorney as a resource, not someone you cling to or depend on for emotional support and stability. A lawyer is not the right person to make your decisions or lead your life--you are. Lawyers cost too much for you to use them for sympathy and consolation--that's what family, friends and counselors are for. <BR><BR> When you talk to a lawyer, stick to the facts and don't just chat, ramble, or complain about things your spouse did unless you actually want your lawyer to do something about it. Don't take your anger to an attorney; you want your best interests represented, not your emotions. <BR><BR> <B>Taking control of your own case.</B> Being in control of your own case and your own life is the single best thing you can do in any divorce, so it is essential that you have a lawyer who can work cheerfully on that basis. If you are well prepared and business like, that will help the lawyer see that you are in charge of things, but you should actually say that's how you want it to be. Tell the lawyer that you want good advice and will rely on the lawyer's experience, but that you expect to make decisions that concern the tone and strategy of the case. Ask that you be sent copies of all documents and letters. Let the attorney know that you expect phone calls to be answered by the next working day. These little things let the lawyer know you are the boss. After all, you pay the bills. <BR><BR> <B>Using a lawyer for specific tasks.</B> Instead of hiring a lawyer to get you a divorce, it may be far more cost-effective to use the lawyer just for information or advice on specific subjects. That may be all the legal help you will need. If not, you can always go back for more help later. After you have organized all your facts and read about how the law works in your case, if you still have questions about the law or what the likely outcome will be in your county, write all your questions down and ask a lawyer. <BR><BR> You may decide to have a lawyer help with your marital settlement agreement, either to draft one or just to check over one you have made yourself. If you get stuck or confused at any point in your divorce, that's a good time to go for help. The more specific and prepared you can be, the more you will get for your money. <BR><BR> My book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better explains the process of divorce so you can become well-informed, and is full of information to help you get organized and prepared before you see a lawyer. It even includes worksheets to help gather all your information together. You will also find lots of practical advice on how to deal with your emotions during divorce, and an example of a marital settlement agreement that will help you create your own. For more information, go to <a href="http://www.nolotech.com/CA/CA.html#pds">www.nolodivorce.com</a>. <BR><BR> Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from <a target="_new" href="http://www.nolodivorce.com">http://www.nolodivorce.com</a> or by calling (800) 464-5502.

How To Protect Your Life Insurance Policy While Going Through A Divorce

Life insurance, more than most things you buy, relates to the circumstances of your life. You buy life insurance to protect your family from financial loss stemming from your death. You tie the amount of your life insurance to the money your family will need to provide an income, pay off debts, put children through college and cover financial commitments.

But what happens to life insurance when you're about to dissolve your marriage? How do you deal fairly with a soon-to-be ex-spouse, yet still make sure you have coverage for the future? Is there a way to provide for adult children of a previous marriage without going broke -- especially if you have children through a second or third marriage?

Here are a number of considerations you should be aware of:

- Don't assume that your insurance agent or company knows about your circumstances. If you don't change your beneficiary, your former spouse may receive the proceeds of your policy upon your death. If the designation simply reads, &quot;husband of the insured&quot; or &quot;wife of the insured,&quot; and there is no new spouse, the secondary beneficiary receives the proceeds.

- You may be able to transfer ownership rights of the policy as part of a property settlement or to ensure continuation of alimony payments. Your ex-spouse may not press as hard for more support or a greater slice of an ongoing pension if he or she remains the designated beneficiary on a permanent life insurance policy. Of course, you need to ensure that your policy remains a valuable asset by keeping up premium payments.

However, transferring an existing cash value policy (as opposed to a term policy, may carry with it the burden of federal gift tax, unless you transfer the policy prior to divorce. Be sure to discuss this option prior to the finalization of your divorce.

- Don't overlook the possibilities life insurance may provide for dealing fairly with children from your previous marriage. If you're paying alimony to your previous spouse and have a second family with your new spouse, adult children from your first marriage may sue your estate after you're gone if they aren't dealt with at least as fairly as the children from your subsequent marriage(s).

A permanent life insurance policy can be an immediate "estate replacer" to children from your first marriage -- it helps you replicate accumulated assets that you wish to pass on to the children of your first family -- but can't afford to without neglecting the needs of your new family. Essentially, you purchase a permanent life insurance policy on yourself and designate your adult children as beneficiaries. When you die, proceeds bypass the probate process and pass directly to your adult children. Your immediate spouse and any children from that marriage are left with your accumulated property and assets -- so you've provided for both families.

If you're contemplating divorce, don't forget the options you may have with respect to your life insurance coverage. Divorce is tough enough -- don't overlook the flexibility and security this valuable asset can provide.

Matt McWilliams is one of the co-founders of HometownQuotes.Com, an online insurance quotes web site. He is originally from Pinebluff, NC and graduated from Middle Tennessee State University in 2002. He is considered an expert in the field of online insurance shopping and finding new ways to help consumers save money on their insurance. For more information visit <a target="_new" href="http://www.hometownquotes.com">http://www.hometownquotes.com</a>

Divorce--Negotiating Agreement: Ten Steps

The best predictor of a good divorce outcome is the degree of client control over the negotiation--everything works much better if you have it. This doesn't mean you should not get help and advice from an attorney if you want it; it means you are better off if you plan to do most or all of the negotiating yourself. <BR><BR> Studies indicate that clients feel their attorneys don't actually give them much help or guidance anyway. In a 1976 Connecticut study, nearly half of those interviewed reported no more than three contacts with their attorney, including phone calls, while 60% said they had worked out all issues without attorney help. <BR><BR> A New Jersey study in 1984 considered only cases with children where both spouses had attorneys. Fewer than 20% felt their lawyers had played a major role in settlement negotiations. <BR><BR> So, you see, you are likely to end up dealing with the negotiation anyway and there is strong evidence that you are far better off if you do. You get a higher degree of compliance with terms of agreement, a much lower chance for future courtroom conflict, co-parenting is smoother, support payments are more likely to be made in full and on time, and you get on with your life more quickly. <BR><BR> Don't expect negotiating with a spouse to be easy. There are lots of built-in difficulties--so many that you may want professional help from a good mediator. But, okay, so there are problems--that's nothing new in the world of divorce. Let's look at exactly what you can do about it. Here are ten steps you can take to make your negotiations work: <BR><BR> <B>1. Be businesslike:</B> <UL>

<LI>Keep business and personal matters separate. You can talk about personal matters any time, but never discuss business without an appointment and an agenda. This is so you can both be prepared and composed.</LI><BR><BR>

<LI> Act businesslike: be on time and dress for business. Don't socialize and don't drink; it impairs your judgment.</LI><BR><BR>

<LI> Be polite and insist on reasonable manners in return. If things start to sneak into the personal or become unbusinesslike, say you're going to stop if the meeting doesn't get back on track. Ask to set another date. If matters don't improve, don't argue, don't get mad, just get up and go.</LI> </UL>

<B>2. Meet on neutral ground:</B> Find a neutral place to meet, not the home or office of either spouse where there could be too many reminders, memories, personal triggers. Or the visiting spouse could feel at some disadvantage and the home spouse can't get up and go if things get out of hand. Try a restaurant, the park, borrow a meeting space or rent one if necessary. <BR><BR> <B>3. Be prepared:</B> Get control of the facts of your own divorce; understand how the laws of your state apply to the facts; find out the probable outcomes under the law; clarify your goals. You can also prepare by trying to understand your respective emotions and past patterns. Just the fact that you are trying to do this will help make things a little better. <BR><BR> <B>4. Balance the negotiating power:</B> <UL> <LI> If you feel insecure, become informed, be well prepared, use an agenda, get expert advice and guidance. There's never any need to respond on the spot: state your ideas, listen to your spouse, then think about it until the next meeting. Don't meet if you are not calm; if the meeting doesn't stay businesslike, don't continue. If this happens often, consider using a professional mediator.</LI><BR><BR>

<LI> If you are the stronger spouse, help build your spouse's confidence so he or she can negotiate competently and make sound decisions. And listen, listen, listen.</LI> </UL>

<B>5. Build agreement:</B>

<UL> <LI>Start with the facts: You should by now have gathered and exchanged all information. If not, complete the information gathering (see Step 6 of my article "Divorce--Overcoming Obstacles to Agreement"), then try to agree on what the facts are. Write down the facts you agree on and list exactly what facts you do not agree on. Note any competing versions then do research to resolve the difference by research and exchanging records. Compromise. If you can't prove some fact to each other, you may have a hard time proving it in court. </LI><BR><BR>

<LI>Make a list of the issues and decisions you can agree on. Write them down. This is how you build a foundation for agreement and begin to clarify the major issues between you. </LI>

Next, write down the things you don't agree on. Always keep trying to refine your differences--to make them more and more clear and precise. Try to break differences down into digestible, bite-sized pieces.

</UL> <B>6. Consider the needs and interests of both spouses:</B> Avoid taking a position. Consider your needs, interests and concerns alongside the facts of your situation. Work together on brainstorming and problem-solving; look for ways to satisfy needs and interests of both spouses and try to balance the sacrifices. <BR><BR> <B>7. State issues in a constructive way:</B> "Reframing" is when you restate things in a more neutral way, to encourage communication and understanding. <BR><BR> For example: One spouse says, "I have to keep the house." Reframe: "What I would like most is to keep the house, that's my first priority, because . . . What the house means to me is . . ." <BR><BR> <B>8. Get legal advice:</B> Typically, legal questions come up as you negotiate. Get advice; find out if the laws of your state provide a clear, predictable outcome on your particular issue. Don't hesitate to get more than one opinion. <BR><BR> <B>9. Be patient and persistent:</B> Don't rush, don't be in a hurry. Divorces take time and negotiation takes time. <BR><BR> Whenever someone hears a new idea, it takes time to percolate. It takes time for people to change their minds. It may take time to shift your mutual orientation from combative to competitive to cooperative. So don't just do something; stand there! A slow, gradual approach takes pressure off and allows emotions to cool. <BR><BR> <B>10. Get help:</B> Negotiating with your spouse may not be easy; you're dealing with old habits, raw wounds, entrenched personality patterns--all the obstacles to agreement all at once. A third person can really help keep things in focus. <BR><BR> Mediators are professionals who are specially trained to help you negotiate; they are expert at helping couples get unblocked and into an agreement. Mediation is very effective and it usually goes quickly. <BR><BR> Before you begin to negotiate, get a copy of <a target="_new" href="http://www.nolotech.com/CA/CA.html#pds">Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Divorce Better</a> (the book from which this article was excerpted) for you and your spouse. Then, if possible, discuss parts of it together. <BR><BR> There are many good books about negotiation, but one of the best and easiest to read is the little (150-page) Penguin paperback by Fisher and Ury, Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, available at <a target="_new" href="http://www.divorcehelp.com/books.html">www.divorcehelp.com</a>, along with other recommended books and software. <BR><BR> Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from <a target="_new" href="http://www.nolodivorce.com">http://www.nolodivorce.com</a> or by calling (800) 464-5502.

Choosing Your Divorce Method

The biggest mistake that people make when getting divorced is that they fail to plan. They simply decide to leave the relationship and then enter and ugly and expensive battle that ends up hurting everyone involved. There are some things that you could accidentally do that will make your divorce 100 time more miserable than it really has to be.

As with anything in life, you need to have a plan. The same is true for divorce. If you dont plan for what you want - chances are you won't get what you want. The first step towards having a plan is to know exactly what you want. After you know what you want you can plan to get it.

Here is an excercise: (Get our a piece of paper and a pencil. Write the answers down to the following.)

<li>Decide how much money you want (realistically) our of your divorce.

<li>Decide how often you would like to see the children (if you have any)

<li>Determine if the divorce will be uncontested or an all out battle.

<li>Determine "when" you want to be divorced.

<li>Write down all the possessions that you want (realistically).

<li>Write down any other 'details' that you want established in your divorce.

Take a few minutes and try to put everything you can on this list. You will always be able to add to it later.

Now that you have made your list, go back and reread the list. Cross off everything on the list that isn't worth fighting for, or doing hard work to get. You can save yourself a lot of hassle by knowing what not to ight for. If it really isn't worth it to you - then don't worry about it.

Important Note: The things that you crossed off the list as things you didn't want to fight for are things that you can 'pretend to be willing to fight for'! So when you negotiate you can mention that you have to have these things. Then you can "trade" them for more important things that you really want.

Now you have a list of everything that you want. Be sure to include intangible things like "peace of mind", and other concepts that aren't related to physical stuff. This is important because you will be using this list to get every thing you want out of your divorce.

Now you need to take your list and figure out a time line. If you want to get divorced in 3 months, you should probably already be contacting a lawyer. This brings up another point. Choosing the wrong lawyer can absolutely devestate the entire divorce process for you. There is a way to choose the perfect lawyer but you can ask me about that later.

It is also important that you DON'T tell your spouse that you want a divorce until you have followed the right steps to make sure all of your bases are covered. There may be some financial things that you want to take care of BEFORE you tell your spouse you want a divorce. If you just lose it and tell them you want a divorce, they won't let you change names on the mortgage, car, checking account, etc...

So you need to plan ahead. If you can plan ahead things will go smoother. Now if you are already in the middle of a divorce, there are still things you can plan for and other ways to get everything you want also. You need access to come easy to use tricks that can help you negotiate for everything you want. This article does not cover those tactics because there are too many to list here. A key factor in your negotiating skills is making your spouse believe that they are getting a better deal than you. There are ways to do this. If you can't get them to believe they are getting a better deal, then you need to employ stronger tactics to get what you want. You will be able to use the items that you crossed off of your list as leverage in your negotiations.

It is vitally important that you plan for divorce with the right divorce method. From the list you just made, you can make a detailed divorce method of your own to get exactly what you want from your divorce. You should also seek out special techniques that will accelerate the results of your plan. If there is a way that you can tap into the experience of thousands of people to get results, you should do so. I am not saying this to be mysterious. If you read every last word of this article you will know where to find those resources.

Now take action and work your plan!

Wishing You Happiness in Divorce,

Kyle Chambers

About The Author

Kyle Chambers is a specialist at getting the most financially and mentally out of your divorce. Hundreds of people have already benefitted by little-known tricks in getting more money, custody rights, and just about everything else you want from your divorce. To get the most out of your divorce go to <a href="http://www.DivorceMethod.com" target="_new">http://www.DivorceMethod.com</a>.

How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce...then they should plan accordingly.

Women who think that they are signs that her husband may ask for a divorce but haven't thought about it deeply or who think that a divorce would better suit them rather than their husbands, should view the situation realistically and as stoically as possible. This will ensure that plan they take is calculated, logical and will benefit them based on what they want the end result to yield.

Often times women refuse to think that a divorce could happen to them and one day their husband comes home and says "There's something I have been meaning to talk to you about..." or "I think we should get a divorce." or something similar. If the situation has reached this point, its too late for women to start planning for their financial future after divorce.

So what do women who think a divorce is eminent or who want a divorce for themselves do in order to ensure they aren't left in financial ruin?

There's certainly a myriad of tactics that can be used and each woman's situation is different regarding divorce, but here's some tactics that will help:

Women and divorce tactic 1:

Once women validate their own reasons for divorce and are sure that divorce is the right path, they should make a plan and keep it to themselves. They shouldn't let anyone know what they've decided to do. They should not tell their friends, co-workers, or family...no one. And they certainly shouldn't lead on to their husband that they want a divorce if they are the ones who will be making the first move to end the marriage.

Women and divorce tactic 2:

Women in divorce should realize that the plan they take may require several months to implement and they should be patient and plan logically. Women should learn how much money it would take to support themselves (and children if the situation warrants it), how much money is actually available to them now, and how they can adjust their lifestyle to make sure they can financially survive.

Women and divorce tactic 3:

Women who may be facing divorce should look at the household wills. In some cases, it may be legal to take someone out of a will or put someone into a will without that person knowing.

Women and divorce tactic 4:

Women who want to plan for divorce should try to put away cash in the event something dramatic happens unexpectedly. Bit by bit, putting cash away somewhere in a place that cannot be found by heir husband will allow women to make sure they can survive in the event of "unforeseen circumstances".

Women and divorce tactic 5:

Women who plan on getting divorced should document any events that will strengthen their case against their husband. Occurrences such as physical abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse, and drunken stupors that end in embaraasment or abuse are examples or instances that should be documented because these happeneings strengthen any case the women have against their husband.

Women and divorce tactic 6:

Women who know that divorce is in their future should do all they can to decrease liabilities and increase their access to money. This includes paying down mutual debt, establishing credit of their own if they do not have credit already, and making sure that the mortgage (if there is one) is paid down as much as possible.

Women and divorce tactic 7:

Women who are serious about getting a divorce or who think that their husband might ask for a divorce in the future should gather all documents that have to do with anything financial that has their name listed. They should make a list of all these items with financial institution name, address, account number, balance, interest rate, etc. Knowing exactly what is at stake financially will help alleviate surprises later.

Planning a divorce can be as painful for women as it can be for men. Generally, women aren't the breadwinners (although things are getting a lot closer to being 'new age' than in previous decades) and getting surprised with divorce papers can have long term financial affects to women who don't plan accordingly and protect themselves financially.

? Karl Augustine, 2004 "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether Or Not To Get A Divorce" An eBook recommended by marriage counselors and relationship coaches to their clients.
<a target="_new" href="http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com">Deciding on Divorce</a>
<a target="_new" href="http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/womenanddivorce.htm">Women and Divorce</a>